– Help ! A man invaded my house !
– Ok, Mam, do you have you safety insurance card from your SMO ( safety management organization ) ?
– Well, I can’t get it, the card is in the kitchen and the man is on the living room, I can’t go get it !
– Ok, let’s see if it is an emergency. what’s the man doing right now ?
– He has guns !!!
– Ok, but what is he doing ?
– Ohh, he is sitting on my lazy boy and watching a movie.
– Is the movie near the end ?
– No, it just started, I think.
– Well, so it is not an emergency.
– Wait, I found a copy of my SMO insurance card…
– Ok, what’s the number of your policy ?
– Ok, wait a second while I check your policy…
– Please hurry, he finished a beer, and I am afraid he might do something now. I think he has a grenade.
– Oh, it looks like here that you have a pre-existing condition of having forgot to lock the door of your car on a shopping mall, so I cannot dispatch a car for burglary, has he done anything else other than get inside and drink your beer ? rape anyone ? hurt your dog ?
– Can’t you just dispatch the car ? I am scared, the guy is grabbing things from the coffe table and throwing all over the place, it is scary !!!
– I can, do you agree to pay any cost involved in case your SMO would not cover the cost ?
– How much is that ?
– We couldn’t tell. If the officer needs back-up, it could be a really high cost. There are also the cost with bullets, you know.
– Oh, my neighbor is a cop, can’t you locate his phone number ? call him ?
– Mam, that is not approved procedure, no SMO would cover that kind of procedure. There is no evidence that this kind of procedure can solve your problem.
– Haaaa ! the guy just shot the DVD player !!
– Is he still watching the movie ?
– Yes, it on cable, for god’s sake. Just send this car any how, I might die around here !!!
– Ok, I will need a deposit of USD5000.00. You can pay by Visa, Mastercard, or we can wait for a personal check on the mail…
BaM !!! BaM !!!